Reasons Why #5 - Finding comfort in coming home

by Meredith Linley

This week would have marked the 30th birthday of an extremely close friend of mine. This week would have been one of celebration, maybe a girl’s trip to Vegas or a cruise with a huge group of family and friends. Unfortunately a tragic accident occurred over six years ago and she was taken from us far before her time.
Many people in this community were affected by the death of this bright young lady. She was a great role model in this community. An involved businesswoman, a great mother, and a wonderful friend to many.
I recently faced the fact that I never dealt with her death. Since shortly after she died I moved away, I closeted my grief and continued on with life. Sure I kept the pictures in frames and thought about her frequently. I even got a tattoo to remind me of her on a daily basis. In all honesty though, I never truly dealt with the fact that she was gone forever.
Now I’m home, back in the place where we met, became close friends, and made a million memories. For the first week I was back found myself crying a lot. When I passed a restaurant we used to frequent, drove past her office, and the first time I saw a picture of her daughter (who has now grown into a beautiful young lady in the spitting image of her momma) – tears welled up.
Then I realized something. The reason it was so hard to handle was because the reasons I loved her are all over the place around here. She’s here, whether in body or spirit. And that’s when the comfort came.
Even though our friendship was over the span of a few short years, she managed to teach me so many things. Seeing the pride she had in being a part of this close knit community made me want to be a part of it. Watching her raise her daughter taught me things about motherhood that I hold with me daily. The way she unconditionally loved her family and friends was something I was always envious of, a skill I will never perfect to the extent she did.
It’s difficult at best to drive past her old job and not think about the hundreds of afternoons we would spend there or to go to Applebee’s and not think about all the times we would grab a beer before heading home for the day. I’m quite confident the first time I make an evening out to Midnight Rodeo in Ocala, I’ll probably have tears. Until I make the mandatory stop at Steak and Shake on the way home, then I’ll burst into uncontrollable laughter.
I’m so grateful now to be able to be back home; relive the memories and remember her life every day. It’s no longer tears of sadness that well up, it’s more the tears of joy that I was lucky enough to be a small part of her life. She loved this community and she was a reason why I do too. MLW, you are surely missed but not nearly forgotten.